Someone told me to stop listening music, at least not the kind of music who give me inspiration about death and darkness. How can I stop listening music where music is the only one who can give me the understanding I need cause music is the only thing that fill my lonely world, without music I feel so empty.

I rarely hear people talking and I need to hear sound to know I'm not alone. I rarely talking to other, I can even count my words when I talk to other. And I'm singing just to show I have voice to be heard. I need to speak my mind but nobody listen to me. When I'm singing at least I let out what inside my mind even none understand it.

Music is part of my life, music is like a friend for me, so how can I stop?

I like this song so much, my friend Rashad helped me to find this song. I'm so thankful for his help. It's a song from evanescence, I like all song from evanescence but the most favorites song only "Hello" and "Missing". 

My friend, Moe, asked me why this song. I don't know I just like this song. Maybe it's right the song represented what I feel inside. 

I know none will realize my absence, nobody recognize it. Nobody cares whether I'm alive or dead. Nobody None!!! So why should I care for what other people say, it's so easy to give comment about something but each person has different life and different character to live this life. Simply, I don't care whether you care for me or not cause I don't even care for myself. I have my own life, I have my own character, I have my own personality, I have my own way to solve my life. 

Who cares with other! Who needs people anyway, I don't need nobody to tell me what I want, what I'm gonna do about my destiny. Nobody telling me just what I wanna, I'm so fed up with people telling me to be someone else BUT me!!!

I'm sick and tired of this life, no I'm not hopeless but I just feel like I can't go on, I don't have enough power to continue this life. And I don't have any reason to make me stay. 

I'm tired from people, they told me to be strong, they told me bla bla bla don't give up. Or just say "no she will be fine" 

I'm fine, I'm okay, I'm not hopeless, I'm not giving up but I'm tired. I don't want to go on. I feel like my life stuck here. 

People start to give comment as the way they want. I feel so bored, so much bored from what they said. They don't know me, they don't know my life, there is so much of me they haven't see. Why it's so easy for them to give comment about me as if they really know me, I never give comment about their life. Do they really care about me? Do they worry about me? Is it someone missing me? Is it someone care when I'm gone? Forget it, cause for me it's not gonna change anything. It won't change the real of me. 

Don't try to fix me cause I'm not broken, I'm doing fine, I feel good. 

I'm sick and tired, some people think I only want to make sensation. I don't care what they say. This is not what I looking for, I don't need pity and I don't need your sympathy, cause I have my own way to make me feel safe and calm.